"you’re too young to know what your sexuality is" said the straight person to a queer teenager 

"he’s such a ladies’ man" said the straight person about a 6 month old baby that doesn’t know what a lady is

i’m a film major and im like “yeah ive seen these famous movies” but ive actually only seen the simpsons parodies of those movies

i dont mind gay people so long as they act like weaponized killer robots in public

one of my fave things to do around people i hate is to pretend i don’t understand their jokes or sarcasm





(Source: cocknurse)

In Roman community baths, it was customary for men to stand and applaud when a well-endowed peer entered the water.
I now pronounce you husband and husband. you may smoke the obamacare-provided joint


having siblings is weird bc like one minute u want to strangle them with their own intestines and then later ur singing dramatic duets together

do you ever forget you wear glasses like someone will talk about how they’re getting new glasses and ur like “wow i wonder what it’s like to have glasses” then ur like oops i’ve been wearing glasses for 6 years


Every picture tells a story but this one asks more questions than it answers


Every picture tells a story but this one asks more questions than it answers

(Source: katienotopoulos)


Why do adults think “So what’s your major? Oh, and what are you going to do with that?” is acceptable small talk

What am I going to do with my degree? Hang it on the wall and cry, probably

every day my urge to avoid adulthood forever grows


when McGonagall finds out that Ginny is pregnant, and that the Weasley and Potter bloodlines will converge, she marks on her calender the day the child will turn 11 and that is the day she retires 

don’t trust any person, alive or dead, who unironically uses the term “man cave”

i always play video games on the easiest setting so i always feel good about myself like “aww yeah this is so easy” aand i try to forget i’m playing on difficulty level 1 of 10