the last drop of a nutella milkshake is one of the most delicious and disappointing moments.

tight pants are a gift from the gods

i didn’t prepare a translation for latin today because i care more about my mental health than school work, which i know if like blasphemous, so i basically just made shit up and everyone was looking at me like i was crazy. the good thing is i will steal their souls before the semester is over

me every night:self care > homework

Willie is about to turn 10. Sometimes I tuck him into bed


Willie is about to turn 10. Sometimes I tuck him into bed

One time I accidentally ran a red light in Grand Theft Auto V and I still feel bad about it.

(Source: croptoplou)

i want more lava apocalypse movies where protagonists have to gather squirt guns to attack the approaching armies

(Source: crayonswimking)


i would drive to campus but i don’t want to deal with parking

Anonymous said: 4 some reason i cant imagine you having ever taken a dick pic, it just seems too far removed from your goofy dad persona

is this a subtle hint that you want me to post a dick pic because 1) i’m really bad at subtle hints 2) no

but also thanks for saying i have a goofy dad persona :-* that’s super nice

i love old people whether they’re assholes or nice. like assholic old people are just using their age to get away with shit. that’s so hardcore. and nice old people are changing the world, one “you remind me of my grandparent” at a time.